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Friday, April 24, 2009

The Guide to Eye Sexin'

On my Facebook account I like to share one random fact about myself and today my random fact was: "If I am interested in a guy I will make that very apparent... I'm aggressive in that way. So, if I don't come up to you first, touch you, smile at you, or practically have sex with you via eye contact, then I'M NOT INTERESTED!!!"

I had a couple of people ask me "so, what exactly is eye sex?" Here I plan to explain what I mean by eye sexin'.

Eye sex or sexin' is basically the stare down of two people who are interested in or attracted to each other.

1. It can take place anywhere at anytime.

2. There are no rules that says that eye sexing has to lead to an actual introduction however, that would be great!

3. Eye sexing is only to be done with one person at any given time. There is no 3-way eye sexing or anything of that nature you freaks!

4. Eye sexin' is not an invite to have actual coitus. It's just merely setting the stage to a formal introduction to a potential new "friend".

5. Be aware that at some point that person may come up to you. Don't think you will just eye sex for the entire night. Be prepared to have something to talk about. Also be prepared for the person to sound like Mike Tyson or Paris Hilton :)

6. If you attempt to eye sex someone who's not obviously eye sexing you back you are going to look dumb and they might think you have a staring problem.

7. PLEASE BE AWARE if you are eye sexing someone and their partner is there too, you may be in for a beat down... just sayin.

8. Sunglasses + Eyes sexing = DO NOT WORK. Why? because how can they tell you are looking at them if your eyes are covered, silly!

9. Eye sexing can be a hazard if you are not paying attention. Please make sure you watch where you are going because if you fall or trip all eye sexing points are lost and you will look like an idiot.

10. If you have crusty eyes do not attempt to eye sex anyone until you get yourself together.

11. Last but not least, don't make your eye sexing so freakin' obvious. You need to take breaks in between eye sexing. Take this time to maybe use your mini bottle of Clear Eyes because just like actual sex, you need to keep lubricated or it's going to hurt!


xOxO~Shenna P.